Quite the Quest

A pretty damsel of an elf
Sat by the river's shore.
When I asked her for a dance,
She said I was a bore.

I then decided to drown myself
In spirits and my tears,
When suddenly, a pretty lass
Interrupted my tenth beer.

"Oh heroic lad," she promptly said,
Her lips quivering in fear,
"Please save my sister from the orcs!
They've kidnapped her from here!"

And so I went, sword in hand,
And a lack of patience,
And when I reached the orcs' great lair,
I bellowed out a declaration:

"Mister, missus, all you orcs,
Give back that lady's sister!"
But they regarded all my manly words
As nothing greater than a whisper.

And so I cut off all their heads,
And when they were all beaten,
I found the tavern lady's sister,
But alas, she was quite eaten.

A tear nearly rolled down my cheek,
Before I noticed more -
'Twas the pretty damsel elf
From the river's shore.